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One of a Kind News

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Table of Contents

1. Welcome Notes
2. Finding Inner Peace in an Unpeaceful World
3. Article: The Practice of Thanksgiving
4. Words of Wisdom
5. Resources

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1. Welcome Notes

Dear Friends,

Welcome to all new subscribers!

I’m writing this on a glorious Saturday morning here on Puget Sound. After days of gray skies and intense rain, the sun has emerged in all its glory. Off in the distance, the splendid snow-capped Olympic Mountains frame my picture. My picture includes "the bluest skies you’ve ever seen" matched only by the brilliant blue water of Puget Sound. Ferries are slowly transporting their passengers between Seattle and Bremerton, Seattle and Bainbridge Island, and between West Seattle (where I live) and Vashon Island. It’s a scene of serene peacefulness and beauty. For the moment, I feel that all is well in our world.

Unfortunately, all is not well in our world. On September 11th, our world changed dramatically. Instead of feeling safe and secure, we are living in a time of ambiguity, uncertainty, and terror. It appears this will be ongoing for a very long time. How are we going to handle living with this high level of chronic stress?

We, as individuals, have no control over events outside of ourselves. We cannot control what the terrorists do. But, we can control how we respond. In that regard, we have a lot more power than we think we do.

I promised to write to you on how to stay calm in the middle of crisis. This issue will kick off a series of articles on "Finding Inner Peace in an Unpeaceful World". It begins with an introduction and is followed by the first article on the Practice of Thanksgiving, in honor of America’s Thanksgiving holiday this week. In the Resources section, you will find some quick and easy tools for calming yourself.

Because of starting a new series of articles, this issue is longer than usual. I hope you enjoy it and will join me in the Practice of Thanksgiving not just on Thanksgiving day but every day.

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2. Introduction to Finding Inner Peace in an Unpeaceful World

September 11th was a huge wake up call for many of us. We are waking up to the fact that we are an interconnected global world. We are not separate. What happens in other parts of the world does affect us. And, what we do in America affects others. As tragic as the 9/11 events were, they have given us the gift of awakening. I pray that we stay awake and choose to focus our consciousness on creating a better world for all of us.

"Conversations With God" teaches that if we WANT PEACE, we must BE PEACE. The outer world is a reflection of our collective inner worlds. We can each bring more peace to our outer world by finding more peace within. Nothing outside of ourselves can give us that inner peace. We can, however, give it to ourselves. There is a place within each of us, call it our essence, our core, our hub, our connection with the God within, our Higher Power (substitute whatever term you use to describe this place). This place is where we find inner peace.

We also have "inner terrorists". These inner terrorists can terrorize us much worse than the outer terrorists. They are our seemingly uncontrollable thoughts. Psychologists say we have about 70,000 thoughts a day and most of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday. What kind of thoughts are we having?

"Every human thought, and every human action, is based in either love or fear."
--Conversations With God, book 1

I love the simplicity of this. If we are afraid, we are focused on thinking fear thoughts. If we are at peace, we are focused on thinking love thoughts. All negative thoughts originate from fear. All positive thoughts originate from love.

Fear is only helpful when it is alerting us to something that we can do something about or to change something we can change. In that case we can take action and alleviate the fear. Much of the fear we experience, however, is destructive and repetitive.

The destructive fear thoughts (inner terrorists) are thoughts like "What ifs?" "What if ___________ happens?" You can fill in the blanks. Our inner terrorists are not confined to the current world events. Others are self-doubt thoughts, like "What if I’m not good enough?" Scarcity thoughts, like "What if I run out of money?" What others might think thoughts, like "What will they think if I ___________?" You could probably add some to this list. You know when your inner terrorists are in control because you feel conflicted, fearful, and confused.

Love Thoughts are thoughts of such things as gratitude, beauty, appreciation, admiration, inspiration, what’s right instead of wrong in the world and what’s good instead of bad about another. These are our Higher Thoughts and come from that quiet place within. You know when you are having Love Thoughts because you feel peaceful, harmonious and joyful.

We don’t have to allow inner terrorism. We have the power to find inner peace no matter what is going on in the world and in our lives. It’s all about where we choose to focus our attention. The power of choice is what differentiates us from all other living things. We can choose to either feed the fear or feed the love by what we allow to occupy our minds.

"Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness (and inner peace) in our lives: where we focus our attention."
--Greg Anderson

This is not about positive thinking – replacing a negative thought with a positive thought. Rather it’s about "what we focus on expands". What we put our attention on grows bigger in our lives.

Our minds were given to us as tools for us to use in whatever way we choose. We can choose to take control of our minds and focus them on Love Thoughts or we can become victims of our own inner terrorists.

The following is a recent experience I had with the power of changing my focus from fear thoughts to Love Thoughts:

For a few weeks after September 11th, I was glued to the News. Soon I started dropping into depression. I felt fatigued. My thoughts centered around what was happening in the world and it became difficult to concentrate on anything else. I was feeling miserable. I soon realized I needed to shift my focus and get myself out of that downward spiral.

I started noticing how I felt while watching the News. Within minutes of turning on the T.V., my muscles tensed, my stomach knotted and I was enveloped in a sea of dread and heaviness. I became aware that it wasn’t so much what was happening that was upsetting me as the way it was being presented. I was hearing conflicting messages. One was to be calm and one was to be afraid. I was hearing the "be afraid" message the loudest.

How could I be aware of world events AND stay out of fear?

I found a solution in knitting - something I hadn’t done in 25 years. A still, small voice within suggested I knit an afghan for my, soon to be born, grandson. I did and this was the beginning of moving from a place of fear to a place of love.

I found I could easily focus on love as I worked on this project. With my focus on love for my new grandson, I was able to hear just the facts of the News without all of the fearful hyperbole. I have continued this process of knitting gifts for my loved ones while listening to the News. With this change in focus, I can now keep up to date on the News AND be in inner peace.

There are many ways to focus on Love Thoughts instead of fear thoughts. The following article and future articles on Finding Inner Peace in an Unpeaceful World will lead the way. Stay tuned.

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3. The Practice of Thanksgiving - Focus on What You Have Instead of What You Don’t Have

We have become a consumerist society. We are addicted to wanting more "things". This way of thinking is fed daily through advertising and a culture dedicated to "keeping up with or surpassing the Joneses". We are focusing on what we don’t have and missing what we do have. We, in America, have so much! And, as a people, we are not happy. There is more suicide, crime, drugs etc. than ever before. Maybe we need to take a critical look at our view that "more is better".

When I was young, my parents would say to me "Clean up your plate; think of all the starving people in the world". At that time, I didn’t know any starving people, so that didn’t mean much to me. I feel like I do know starving people now. The people of Afghanistan. Awakening to their desperate situation has made me much more grateful for everyone and everything in my life.

I find myself noticing all of the little things that support me. My favorite coffee mug, a warm shower, the comfortable bed I crawl into at night. And this goes on and on. I appreciate these things because now I am really aware that there are starving people in the world. People who are not only starving for food, but also starving for the comfort inherent in all of the little things that I once took for granted.

I lack interest in buying more "things". Conserving feels good to me. Focusing on what I do have instead of what I don’t have is bringing me a new sense of enhanced energy, joy and peace. This has become my daily practice of Thanksgiving.

Try it for yourself. Thanksgiving day might is good day to start. From the time you wake up in the morning, pay attention to each and every thing around you. Notice how each item enhances your life. Imagine being without it. Appreciate it. (I feel like I need to put a disclaimer in here. You may not like some of the things around you – in that case, those are things you might want to get rid of, they aren’t enhancing your life). Notice how you feel when you are practicing being grateful for everything. Now, shift your focus to something that you don’t have and you want. How does that change how you feel? Experiment shifting back and forth and notice the changes in how you feel.

Next, focus on the people in your life. Look for what you are thankful for in each person. What does that person bring to your life? Be specific. You may be asking, "But Sharon, what about the people that I don’t like?" You can appreciate them too. Look for what they bring into your life. It might be something like helping you grow or helping you become a stronger person.
Write these down for each person. Some examples are:

I am thankful for having you, _____________ in my life because you bring me:

--joy by making me laugh.
--understanding by fully listening to me.
--encouragement by your belief in me.
--courage by you telling your truth.
--acceptance by never judging me.

The next step is to tell them. Yes, you read that right! Tell them! Now! Too often we don’t tell people what we appreciate about them until it’s too late. Tell them in person (preferably) or over the phone or through writing. Just tell them!

Appreciating everything and every person in your life is the Practice of Thanksgiving. It is focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. Start this practice this Thursday and see how your day goes. I would be willing bet that it will be the best Thanksgiving day you have ever experienced.

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4. Words of Wisdom

It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest, and living close to nature."
--Laura Ingalls Wilder

"There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it. Right now, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt."
--Barbara Johnson

"Gratitude releases a dynamic current of spiritual energy to go before us to exert a mighty influence in our world."
--John Randolph Price

"Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own back yard, if you but dig for them."
--Russell H. Conwell

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
--The Serenity Prayer

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5. Resources

Tools to calm yourself during stressful times.

1. Grounding Exercise: gets you back into your body and connected to the earth. It helps you feel solid and strong.
2. Diaphragmatic Breathing Instructions: breathing is one of the first things we stop doing when stressed, and yet it is the most important thing we need to be doing. Breathing centers and calms us.
3. Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT): I call this tool "Acupuncture for the Emotions". It rebalances your scattered energies and can take you to a place of peaceful calmness within minutes.

To receive the grounding exercise and/or the breathing instructions, send an email to Sharon@sharondemarte.com
with what you want in the subject line. I will forward them to you.

To learn EFT:

For those of you who live locally, I am offering EFT workshops on the first Saturday of most months beginning December 1. Details as follows:

Upcoming Saturday EFT Workshops:

--December 1, 2001
--January 5, 2002
--March 2, 2002
--April 6, 2002

Time: 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
Location: My home in West Seattle
Cost: $45 (includes handouts & a continental breakfast)
Note: The book "Adventures In EFT, The Essential Field Guide to Emotional Freedom Techniques", by Silvia Hartmann-Kent will be available at my cost of $17.55.

Each workshop is limited to 6 participants. Call me on 206-938-1867 to reserve your spot.

For those of you who don’t live locally and would like to learn EFT over the phone, email me at Sharon@sharondemarte.com with "EFT by telephone" in the subject line. If there’s enough interest I will set up a teleclass.

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Until we meet again, remember to:

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don’t remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Author Unknown

Blessings to you and yours,

Sharon

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Copyright © 2000, 2001 all rights reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1536-5891
Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute One of a Kind News so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter is: Sharon L. Demarte, M.A.