One
of a Kind News
"Unclutter
Your Life - Be More Present" April 1, 2001
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Table of Contents
1.
Welcome Notes
2. Article – Unclutter Your Life
3. Words of Wisdom
4. The Bicycle Story
5. Resources
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1. Welcome Notes
Dear
Friends,
Thank
you for your many responses to my last newsletter. The
subject of boundaries struck a chord for several of you. Since it
was such a popular subject, I would like to make you an offer.
Here it is – one free ½ hour telephone coaching session
to work
on a boundary issue of your choice. If you would like to take me
up on this offer, simply call or email me and we'll set up a time.
Spring
is here! Yes! My favorite time of year! Have you gotten
into your spring cleaning yet? I wondered where that term came
from (spring cleaning), why not winter cleaning or summer
cleaning? I looked it up on the internet (you can find anything
on the internet). According to a web site called Ye Olde English
Sayings, the origin was "The layer of hay in the kitchen, was
finally hauled out of the house when the weather turned warm in
the Spring". Pretty interesting. When was the last time you
hauled hay out of your kitchen? If you would like to check out
some other old sayings, go to:
http://www.rootsweb.com/~genepool/sayings.htm
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2. Unclutter Your Life – Be More Present
Did
you know there are 93 days, 2,232 hours and 133,920
minutes to spring? Have you ever thought of how many springs
you have left in this life? That's an amazing thought to me. It's
also amazing to me that I have lived 56 springs. And, how many
of those were memorable? I don't remember. I probably don't
remember because I wasn't totally present to them.
The
present is all we have. The past is gone and the future is not
here yet – they are alive only in our imaginations. And yet, we
spend most of our time in those two invisible places. How much
of your time do you spend in the present moment? I'm going to
be bold and speculate that most people spend at least 80% of
their time either in the past or the future. Check it out for
yourself. Tune into your thoughts several times a day and see
where you are – past, present or future? I think you'll be
amazed.
What
keeps us flitting between the past and the future and only
occasionally touching down in the present? Tolerations is one
answer. Tolerations are all of those nagging things that take up
our mind space and zap our energy. These can be large or small
things such as:
1.
Not having the proper equipment or technology
2. Being in the wrong line of work
3. Long hours
4. Low pay
5. Relationships with co-workers that aren't working
6. Unorganized closets
7. Things that need fixing
8. Messy kitchen table
9. Not getting along with significant other
10.Having one-way friendships
Tolerations
are the external clutter of our lives that, when not
resolved, clutter our minds and thwart our ability to be present to
the moment. Take a look at your life and see what you are
putting up with. Start a list of tolerations – all the things that
bug
you. Most people have between 50 and 100 items on their list.
This can feel overwhelming.
Take
heart, just the simple act of making this list will bring these
annoyances to the forefront of your mind and you will find
yourself beginning to resolve them. If you want to be pro-active,
pick five of the easiest tolerations and set a goal to resolve them
this week. If you do that, the chances are good that you will feel
motivated to continue. The more tolerations you eliminate, the
more you will experience:
1.
Free time
2. Lightening up
3. Enjoying the present
4. A simplified life
5. No more rushing
6. Increased energy
7. Being a model for friends and family on what's possible
I
have to warn you that you might experience boredom – this is a
healthy sign. Be with it and know that you are freeing up space
in your life for better things to enter.
Consider
spending your spring cleaning energy on eliminating
tolerations. It's not so much what you add to your life as what
you subtract that leads to happiness. If you feel resistance to
doing this, ask yourself what these tolerations are costing you.
They may be costing you your ability to be fully present to your
life. What I want for you is that you are able to live this spring
fully – take it in, smell it, feel it, taste it, see it –
enjoy it. As the
old saying goes "stop and smell the roses".
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3. Words of Wisdom
Here's
a new take on the Serenity Prayer, submitted by my
daughter, Shannon:
"God,
grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can
And the wisdom to know that one is me."
--Author Unknown
"The measure of success is not whether you have a tough
problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had
last year."
--John Foster Dulles,
Former Secretary of State
"When
I have a toothache, I discover that not having a toothache
is a wonderful thing. That is peace."
--Thich Nhat Hanh
"Those
who enjoy the greatest lives are not extraordinary people,
or even ordinary people with something added. They are not
necessarily the wealthiest or most professionally acclaimed.
Those who sparkle with aliveness are ordinary people with
nothing taken away. They have not lost their wonder of the
moment. They cherish the presence of a friend; they marvel
when a child takes their hand. They find a gift in each moment
of living."
--Mary Manin Morrissey
"Peace
is being fully in the present, centered and grounded."
--Author Unknown
"Your
children need your presence more than your presents."
--Jesse Jackson
"For
tomorrow offer no answers.
For yesterday hold no apologies.
This moment is a gift which you
honor by fully living in it."
--mary anne radmacher
"Do
not look back in anger or forward in fear but around in
awareness."
--Author Unknown
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4. The Bicycle Story
It
can be difficult to explain what Coaching is. I ran across this
great little metaphor that explains the difference between
Coaching Consulting and Therapy. Please know that this is a
generalization, there are lots of gray areas in this and it is meant
to be a very simple way to explain the differences.
Let's
take the example of learning to ride a bicycle.
A
Therapist will ask you all kinds of questions about your past
experience with riding a bicycle, any fears that you have, what
concerns you have about riding a bicycle, etc. The Therapist will
work with you to clear up things in your past connected to riding
a bicycle.
A
Consultant will talk with you about the various types of
bicycles out there, the wheels, the seats, the various speeds etc.
and then advise you as to what bicycle would be the right one for
you to use.
A
Coach will run alongside you while you ride the bicycle,
encouraging you, supporting you and celebrating with you as you
become more and more expert at riding it.
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5. Resources
Lighten
Up! Free Yourself from Clutter, by Michelle Passoff
This
book teaches how to "Create the space for miracles by
freeing yourself from too much stuff". I love this book! It's
packed with good ideas that can help you eliminate your
tolerations.
Take
Time for Your Life, by Cheryl Richardson
I
have recommended this book before and it bears repeating.
Cheryl Richardson is a coach who frequently appears on the
Oprah Winfrey show, usually on Mondays. In this book, Cheryl
outlines a seven-step program that can help you identify and
eliminate the things in life that are draining you and replace them
with the things that fuel you.
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Until we meet again, remember to:
Count
your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Author Unknown
Blessings
to you and yours,
Sharon
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Sharon Demarte is a Quality of Life Coach. She coaches
individuals by telephone and internet, helping her clients close
the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Her
clients come from all walks of life. She works best with people
who have a strong desire, a willingness to take action, and are
motivated to increase the quality of their lives – sometimes even
in difficult situations.
One
of her specialties is working with Caregivers. She works
with caregivers to help them avoid caregiver burnout and
maintain their own health, well-being and quality of life while
caring for another. She also loves to work with people who are
Too Young To Retire – they are the age of customary retirement,
but choose to go on to yet another career.
If
you are a person who wants more out of life and would like to
explore the possibilities of partnering with Sharon as your coach,
please contact her in whatever way is comfortable for you. By
email: demartes@nventure.com; by fax (confidential): 253-568-
0453; by telephone: 206-938-1867.
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Copyright © 2000, 2001 all rights reserved. Permission is
granted to reproduce, copy or distribute One of a Kind News so
long as this copyright notice and full information about
contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter
is: Sharon L. Demarte, M.A.
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